Allow me smart from the sharp sting of disappointment from expectations i didn't even know i held
Allow me to spend my day fighting back tears and clinging on to hope's coattails, for reasons i'm yet to understand myself
Allow me to feel a fool for being incredibly upset over something my head didn't realise my heart wanted
Allow me punish myself because i feel stupid for wanting something i'd told you i didn't want - because i genuinely did not, until i realised that maybe i did
Allow me pay penance for wanting more. In my head and my usual rational head space, it is enough, we are enough, what we have is beautiful. So when i find myself wanting more, i feel like this will make you feel like you're not enough - when in truth you are. So allow me pay penance
Allow me stew for yearning for all i ever wanted and all i never had. Let me stew in the foolishness of my feelings. My feelings that got hurt over what shouldn't even matter. My feelings that told me that i'm not worth enough for you for you to bother to make an effort, when i've told you time and time again, that i need that to feel loved. I need the gestures, i need to see the thought behind the effort. I KNOW my feelings are fickle, and in this case wrong,but allow me stew in the funk i'm in for allowing the feelings in the first place.
Allow me to be confused, to hurt, to cry, to feel ashamed, vulnerable and incredibly foolish all the same time and please allow me keep it from you. For above all else, I don't want you to see this me, this weak me. I promise that when i'm done, i'll find my way back to you. If you'll only wait for me, i'll find my way back home - like i always do.
Allow me to spend my day fighting back tears and clinging on to hope's coattails, for reasons i'm yet to understand myself
Allow me to feel a fool for being incredibly upset over something my head didn't realise my heart wanted
Allow me punish myself because i feel stupid for wanting something i'd told you i didn't want - because i genuinely did not, until i realised that maybe i did
Allow me pay penance for wanting more. In my head and my usual rational head space, it is enough, we are enough, what we have is beautiful. So when i find myself wanting more, i feel like this will make you feel like you're not enough - when in truth you are. So allow me pay penance
Allow me stew for yearning for all i ever wanted and all i never had. Let me stew in the foolishness of my feelings. My feelings that got hurt over what shouldn't even matter. My feelings that told me that i'm not worth enough for you for you to bother to make an effort, when i've told you time and time again, that i need that to feel loved. I need the gestures, i need to see the thought behind the effort. I KNOW my feelings are fickle, and in this case wrong,but allow me stew in the funk i'm in for allowing the feelings in the first place.
Allow me to be confused, to hurt, to cry, to feel ashamed, vulnerable and incredibly foolish all the same time and please allow me keep it from you. For above all else, I don't want you to see this me, this weak me. I promise that when i'm done, i'll find my way back to you. If you'll only wait for me, i'll find my way back home - like i always do.
