I love medicine. As much as I bitch and moan about it, I love the smile on peoples' faces when we fix them. I hate working nights, I absolutely detest working so many weekends and bank holidays. I hate being made to choose between having a life aand being the kinda doctor I want to be.
I didn't go to med school to be a general pracctitioner. Hell, I don't know ANY doctor who went to school to be a general ppractitioner. Not because there's anything wrong with that, more because when you're 15 and applying for medicine you have a picture of figuring out what's wrong with people and fixing them straight away as opposed to passing them on to someone else to fix - which is the fundamental difference between primary and secondary care.
I've ALWAYS wanted to be a consultant in infectious diseases and or HIV medicine. I love it, I always have but by God being in the hospital gets on my tits - especially when I keep clocking 70hour weeks
So now I'm worried that I'm gonna end up doing the professional exams for primary care as opposed to the mrcp. I flatly refuse to not have a life. All my snr docs I've spoken to tell me straight up - it's either primary ccare and a life or seccondary care and none. I want one, I want a family and I want time to be able to enjoy one - I want to sleep in my bed at night, to go on holidays etc
I just feel cheated having to choose between both! So unfair!
I suppose if one doesn't work out I can always re-train - yup, re-do speciality training.
In the mean time november is looming - which is it gonna be? MRCGP or MRCP?
I'm scared - and honestly, perhaps kinda excited to!