Saturday, 30 March 2013


Sometimes, it's not what you say. it's what you don't say

It's the unheard 'i love yous', the unspoken 'i want to be with you' the lack of 'you're the one i love' because you see, like i've said a million times before, people receive love in seperate ways. I'm a 100% words of affirmation person, so when i don't receive any verbal feedback, i find myself wondering if i'm wasting my time and if i should give other people a chance, because afterall, i remain unfulfilled and empty.

Words cost nothing, but mean the whole world. I'm not asking for expensive shinny things - i accept that you're not there yet and i'm willing to give a pass on that. But what does it cost to throw in a couple of i love you's every so often?

So i throw a tantrum and ask you to pull your weight. Be a guy, be MY guy. I don't want to do all the work, i'm tired. I say it all the time, i lead every other area of my life, i don't want to be in the driving seat of a relationship with you. You're the man, set the tone and i'll follow.

So when i pull away, and you don't come after me, is it strange to you that i get upset? Because if you can't chase me now, you won't chase me in the future. Women need to be chased aka feel wanted. If you don't show me you want me, then you don't and i best get to stepping. Afterall, it's not like i put you through the mill before we started dating. It was easy, you asked straight up i said yes - no drama, no 'fronting'. I still sometimes feel a pinch of regret about that because you behave like you don't know what you have in your hands, and when you don't know to make gestures and effort now, i wonder if it's because i've let you get lazy. I've let you not the guy.

But i fight fair, i can be mad at you and put that aside if something comes up that requires sorting out. But you? Under the guise of we're not talking, you kept information that you KNOW was pertinent, you casually throw a : oh while we weren't talking, i was near death's door, but you weren't talking to me so why would i tell you? and i'm like ermm okay, are we being spiteful now? Are we deliberately hurting each other now? Are you now in the business of wringing tears out of me? Alright then.

Because i don't understand why you can't understand that i just want you to want me. And if you don't, that's fine too.  Just let me know where you're at.

Use your words, please.

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