Friday, 25 February 2011

24

24! chaii, the number's heavy in my mouth! LOL. I'm actually finding it really difficult to wrap my head around the fact that i'm 24 now! Good grief, where'd all the time go?

I had THE most wonderful birthday yesterday, without a doubt. The sun came out to play for the first time in while, it was warm and i got to leave work after lunch! It doesn't take much to please me. :)

Thoroughly enjoyed having friends over in the evening, i really did have a fantastic time. I'm chuffed that people think highly enough of me to come out :)

I'm sat here an hour past midnight reflecting on the day and boy, have i come a long way! Thank the good Lord.

If there's one thing i've learned it's that time, in my case a year, makes a broken heart hurt less as each day goes by.

I've learned that I'm incapable of dissociating mind/emotions from body. I tried it #epicfail. And so i'll sit here, reflect some more and beat myself over and over again,  until i get the message: if someone does not belong to you, LEAVE.WELL.ALONE. You'll only end uo hurting yourself. Kai, but i've been silly sha!

Talk about falling your own hand! I'm tayyad - i'm going back inside jare, enough of exploring other sides to life. Comfortable may be boring, but at least it's comfortable.

I've learned not to ignore feelings - yes i've mastered ruling myself and my feelings with an iron rod, but life'll be a lot less colourful if i carry on with the gaddaffi-like governance

I've learned how to enjoy life - regardless of external circumstances

Above all, i've learned that i musn't give myself so completely and freely to one who's not able to return the favour. I'd only hurt myself and nurse my wounds solo, because i was dumb enough to ignore the overriding externuating circumstances *smh at myself* mschewww

I'm gonna pick up the pieces of my life and take my own advice: I'm going to begin my 24th year as I mean to carry on. No.more.

I think about dad a lot more frequently now. Irrespective of my less than laudable choices pappy, i know you're proud of me. I miss that you're no longer here.

Happy new year to me.

2 comments:

Mr. Tee© said...

Happy Birthday dear! Here's a toast to the good life...

*Glass clinking*

Myne Whitman said...

Happy Birthday to you, and I pray the coming year and more, bring you many wonderful blessings!

I'm sure your dad is proud of you. HUGS!