Sunday 20 March 2011

#ontothenextone

It would have been okay if we were together, but we're not - and you're 'together' with someone else

It would not be okay if you were 'un-together' with said someone else and 'togethered' with me as much as i long for that because i'll question the basis

It would have to be alright, you would have to understand why i'm cutting you off. It's like attempting to take the proverbial pound of flesh without spilling a drop of blood

It would have been better if this never begun, but shit happened - i allowed shit to happen.

I would have to journey the road towards forgiving myself, and as often as the thought of blaming you for chasing relentlessly after me comes, i can't blame you because

It would have been a different story if i didn't give in to your relentless overtures. I was weak and allowed vulnerability to get the better of me. foolish.

It will have to end because i'm catching feelings..i learnt a little while ago that i'm incapable of dissociating my body from the rest of me

I will have to refuse your offering me your body, that i can do without: i want your mind, your thoughts, your journey, i want your heart

I'm letting go, i've hurt myself enough already. No, i refuse to blame you this is all on me. Afterall, I should have known better

So goodbye, i'll do my best to stop comparing myself to your 'together' and telling myself that i'm better than her and better with you in more ways than one - my arrogance is nauseating

Perhaps in the next life..perhaps.

1 comment:

Etoile Oye said...

aWW... The most important thing is that you found the strength to end it... All the best in getting over it. It hurts but it wont last forever