exhaling

I'm angry:

With myself for not being over this yet

With myself for having such an expressive face

With myself for my inability to hide my state of mind from everyone

With myself when I find my thoughts straying towards you - still

With myself for being mad at you

At you for doing this to me - deliberately or not, I no longer care

At you for asking me to give my most precious gift to you as if you couldn't comprehend its worth - I suppose you really couldn't

At you for reminding me what loneliness is  - I was blissfully happy in my own company prior to you walking into my life

At myself because i'm lying here listening to the rain fall and thinking about you, wanting you to hold me

At you because you've so royally fucked with my mind and emotions and you don't even seem to know what you've done - and if you do know, you've done a good job if ignoring it


At you because I'm no longer the same person - because i detest who i've become  - because of you

At you and I because i'm still here, trying my best to ride this out all on my own, while your life carries on with your together, seemingly blissfully happy

At you because you're surprised i'm no longer 'myself' around you - how can you not know why?

I'm angry because i'm tearful.