1. Seeing the pack of durex in the trash can was the final nail in the coffin. I don't know what was worse: the sudden realisation that that meant him and I were never going to happen - cuz let's face it when sex is involved...or that I was carrying a wish/hope with baited breath that someday. How could I not have realised that?
2. My star sign describes me perfectly. I'm a pisces to the very core
3. I cried myself to sleep last night. I haven't cried in a very long time.
4. I'm emotionally spent, I've lost count of how many days I've been on-call now. It's too much for me. I don't want to do it anymore
5. Who supports the personn who supports everyone else?
6. A random act of kindness contributed to the crying yesterday. I was so spent, so broken all it took was someone who really listened to say a kind word and all of a sudden - I totally unravelled - in the privacy of my duvet of course
7. There's a depth to my soul that's both a blessing and a curse
8. The ex-boy saw the above light years before me.
9. I'm sorry I've upset said ex boy, but I had to make him stop calling me baby and going on about we and us. It's been 21 months..and counting.
10. I hope the tears were a catharsis and my soul is healing. I cannot be stoic for much longer.
11. I want a hug - a great big bear hug that says ' I understand, you don't have to be so strong all the time. Let me take some of that load off your heart'. I want a hug that says 'I love you, and I'm here for you'
Mayhaps, that may just be the plug I need to stop these tears from falling, cuz apparently the floodgates are refusing to shut.