Sunday, 9 December 2012

need me, want me

'I've had such an awful day because you've not been in it, i've missed you so much'

Something in me clicks and rebels whenever i hear this or a variation of it.

On the surface of it, it's such a lovely thing to hear and it ought to make me feel all cuddly and warm inside..right?

On the contrary! I don't like it AT ALL. I hear that and all i immediately think is no! no!! no!!

I feel like - Surely, you have something to do with your self, with your time, with your life other than me?! I immediately feel overwhelmed and unable to breathe because i'm feeling like - i can't be the be all and end all of someone's life!

Missing me is one thing, yes - not doing anything other than miss me all day smacks of having nothing to do to distract yourself, switch your focus, change the direction of your thoughts and i dont like that - it makes me feel so overwhelmed! So - 'i'm not joined to you at the hip'

I don't want to be needed.

want me - yes, by all means please. That's infinitely pleasurable

need me - no thank you. I'm not a lifeline.

arghh this is all rambly and makes no sense


Etoile Oye said...

Another case of something intended to be sweet but not making much sense with thought.
A person can miss you with a lot going on though. You can miss someone so much everything you do reminds you of them and makes you miss them more. Missing you =/= Idleness.

Enitan said...

Too true. thanks for stopping by :)