Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Confused dot com

image from

I've come to the realisation, and i'm willing to admit that  i do not have a clue what i'm doing with my life or where i'm going. Sure, sure, I'm a doctor now, i always wanted to be a doctor. Then adulthood set in, and along with it came disillusionment. I know what my one overarching dream/vision is but i don't know how to get there. I know what step to take, hell, i don't even know how to lift a foot.

I confess to being under some degree of stress recently. I aknowledge the feelings of loneliness that creep up on me from time to time. I was shocked to catch myself wishing for a family or friends to be around. Sheesh, tired of spending holidays by myself all the time jare. I say that like i'm not working through the holidays this season. Truth be told, i don't remember the last time i was truly, freely happy. I don't remember the last time i laughed from my stomach, the last time a smile reached my eyes.

That's besides the point. The point is that I can't answer the 'what the hell am i doing with my life?' question and that bothers me. I refuse to let my life pass me by but i don't know what to do about it. I'm not scared to do what i need to do, i just don't know what it is i need to do!

I do know at the very moment that i need to go take a shower and take out the trash. Now that i can do. But then what?

Any shrinks out in blogsville willing to help a sister out?


Mena UkodoisReady said...

Yes we all have those days my dear.

My 2 penny help is to ask you, what would you like to do next? What is your next project?

Maybe you are due for a holiday? Go somewhere you have never been before?

Apart from that, you can take classes. Dance, language, or whatever you find exciting.

OYa talk to Mena the mad shrink :)

Mena UkodoisReady said...

Where are you oh biko, we miss you!!